Adventures in potty training!

These last three weeks have been what I would call "nuts".

It feels SO good to finally be able to sit back and relax a little because for those three weeks, I honest-to-God didn't have the time to. Everyday was go go go and by the end of it, I was too exhausted to do anything but park myself in front of the tv for an hour before dragging myself off to bed.

I suppose you might say that my nesting instincts have been in full gear. They came a little earlier this time around but you won't find me complaining about that because there's no way I could've physically been doing these past three weeks during those last 10 weeks. I'm glad to know things are, for the most part, settled.

Last week was the grand finale, the culmination of all my/our hard work. Liana's big girl bedroom is done but is without one major detail.... furniture. After ordering the best bedroom set Art Van had to offer, we were extremely disappointed once everything was put together to see that the quality was less than impressive. As a result we promptly returned everything to the store (which wasn't a simple process and involved me playing my "I'm a desperate preggo" card with the manager who thankfully took pity upon me) and I've reordered a different set from Northwestern Home Furnishings off of Leonard (who I'd recommend in a heartbeat) that should arrive in about 3 weeks. While my project didn't get done when I had hoped it would, things worked out just as they should have. (I swear, God puts His hands into the most random of places in my life sometimes and I continue to find myself feeling quite grateful for that. He continues to prove that he knows what timing is best for us even when we think we know what's best for ourselves.)

Also last week we were scheduled to have The Kranz's visit for a four day weekend. Sadly, Kate's grandma passed away on Wednesday morning so they ended up not being able to come.

What a letdown of a week, huh?

With the lack of bedroom furniture and the lack of Kranz's, I woke up on Tuesday and found myself determined not to let my six days off from work go to waste. For months I've been worried about when and how to potty train Liana (do I do it this summer or wait til after the baby has been here a few months?) on top of how and when to transition her into her big girl room. I didn't want to create too many changes for her at once so I knew things would have to be timed just right. While I had ultimately decided to do the transition to a big girl room first, the lack of furniture and the time off pushed me quickly into the other direction. I made the decision that come Thursday morning, Liana and I would officially begin potty training.

Ready or not, here we go! ;)

As soon as the decision was made, Mike and I started talking the whole plan up as much as we could. She wasn't too into the whole idea but I had figured she wouldn't be.... after all, this is the same kid that has refused to sit on the potty without her diaper on for the past four months. Despite my fear of pushing her too hard, we didn't let her have much choice in the matter and framed it as "the big girl thing to do". Slowly but still unsurely, she began to take to the idea.... or maybe she just didn't fight it. Wednesday night after work we took her to Meijer to stock up on all her "goodies": balloons for her potty chair, stickers and treats for her successes, and panties that she liked (Minnie Mouse, of course).

Thursday morning, she initially fought me when I announced that we wouldn't be putting her diaper on and would instead be wearing her "big girl" panties. I covered the family room with blankets to protect the carpet from any future accidents and we had her "potty training station" set up in the dining area where it was easily accessible and in the middle of everything. I taught her the rules of the potty training game (1 treat for each time she sits on the potty and is still dry, 2 treats for when she pees/poops on the potty) and very quickly the 'fun' began. While still a bit resistant to sitting on her potty, I urged (NOT forced) her to do so and as time continued, things slowly improved.

By the time she had gone down for her nap at 1:30, Liana had 7 accidents and 1 success. The success came just before naptime and I made a HUGE deal out of it. She got a sticker for her chart and two gummies for her belly. She helped me flush her potty down the toilet and you could tell the kid was beaming with pride over what she had accomplished. I had truly hoped that with one success, she would start to catch on about what it was that we were trying to do.... unfortunately, that wasn't quite the case.

After naps, the accidents continued. And continued. And continued. I got my system down pat that day and learned something important: I could totally do cloth diapers. Even her poop didn't phase this mama! :)

After a day of not much progress, we decided to put her in a pull-up on Thursday night for her sake and for ours. I knew she'd wet herself through the night and I wanted her to feel rested for the day ahead on Friday. Plus, God didn't do it all in one day, what makes me think I can?!

Friday morning we both woke up early.... and tired. My sister and I had ventured out to the Taylor Swift concert on Thursday night and while the concert was amazing and totally worth it, I didn't get the sleep I needed. Mike had taken Friday off but went to play hockey in the morning so I was on my own for the first three hours. Two hours into our "Friday fiasco" I placed a desperate call to my mom at work and asked, "At what point do I admit she's not ready?" We had a long heart-to-heart on the subject and she reassured me in saying that she didn't feel like Liana was quite ready yet, either. As she had stayed with Liana for a few hours on Thursday while Mike and I were gone, I felt better in knowing that I wasn't alone in my thoughts of her not being quite ready. After we got off the phone and Liana had experienced her 5th accident in two hours, I gave her the choice.... diaper or panty? She quickly chose diaper and I called it quits.

Soon after, I texted Kate with the news that potty-training was officially a no-go.  Over the next hour she reassured me that many of the things that Liana was doing (frequent accidents, not wanting to sit on the potty) were also things that Lily had done but that with patience and a refusal to quit, Lily grasped the concept within those first 48-72 hours.  With a restored hope, we put the panties back on just in time for Mike to walk through the door and start helping out.

But by 3:30pm, we were again done. It got to the point that afternoon, after only one more "fluke" success, that Mike and I both looked at each other and said, "She's just not ready." Immediately I felt a wave of relief wash over me because not only did I feel it, but he felt it as well. And so did my mom.

For Liana, it all came down to the biological processes. She knew when she was going but she couldn't seem to tell when she had to go. So by the time she realized she had to go, she was already going. Wet panties didn't teach her anything, as I've heard they do with so many other kids. Yes, she'd want them changed instantly, but it wasn't unnerving enough to stop her from actually having an accident. Her panties essentially became an extension of a diaper.... just another place you pee when you have to go. Not the most helpful, right?

So at 2 years 4 months, my kid is still in diapers. And quite frankly, I'm good with that. Yes, I felt like a failure at first but once I did some more reading on the subject and was reminded that not all children are aware of their bodily processes at this age and that it has nothing to do with their emotional or intellectual maturity, I found comfort. I felt reassurance. Because I know my kid. I know she's smart. And I know she'll get it. Just not yet.

I learned one other important thing throughout this potty training adventure.... I need to trust my "motherly intuition" more often. Despite Lily only being five weeks older than Liana and being so successful with her potty training, I knew Liana wasn't ready before we even began. I wanted to try anyways though, just in case, and honestly I'm glad I did because there's no regrets this way. Liana just didn't have the "tell tale" signs that so many trainable kids have. And if I'm to be honest, my gut tells me that my kid won't be ready for a while. She's so smart... almost too much so at times.... and I can just see her being the 3 year old that potty trains herself in a day. Frankly, that seems like the easiest way to do this and I'm okay with giving her that control over this aspect of her life. What good could come from forcing her before she's ready? Rebellion and retaliation, that's what. Plus, there's always that "independent variable" of a baby brother that would likely push her one way or another - into regression or into independence.

So, the diapers are back and I'm feeling pretty good about that. We're enjoying the freedom and independence they provide us with right now and we all feel a sense of relief in knowing that the pressure is off for now.

For now, we wait. We wait for her big girl room to be finished. We wait for her brother's nursery to get started on (which will be a Mike project... not a Mike and Haley project... and will be much more simple). We focus on these last 13 weeks (or so) that we have as a family of three and find calm and comfort wherever we can. Mike and I are desperately trying to soak up this time with our little girl as much as we can before we become a family of four and she has to share her mommy and daddy.

I feel good with where we are and what we've accomplished thus far.

And while I'm growing increasingly uncomfortable these days, I do have to say....

Life is good. :)