Trying to process.

For those of you who have known me a while, you know I love quotes. When I don't know which words are just right to fit whatever it is that I'm going through at the moment, I turn to the Word document I have saved in my computer to search for just the right one. I scroll through those 25 pages until I've found something that perfectly fits what I needed to say and instantly, I feel a little bit better.

Today, I realized quickly that I have hundreds of quotes but nothing that fit this situation and how I was feeling just right. So I took to google and came upon these.

And, they allowed me to cry. Something I hadn't yet been able to do today... aside from this morning when I checked my facebook for the first time. So for that, I'm grateful.

Here's the latest additions to that Word document... page 26 has been added. Against all my wishes.

"These are my footprints,
so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints
never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint,
for now I have wings.
These tiny footprints were meant
for other things.
You will hear my tiny footprints,
in the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angel's tears,
of joy and not from pain.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in each butterflies' lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you,
if you just give me the chance.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind,
and call each one that grieves.
Most of all, these tiny footprints,
are found on Mommy and Daddy's hearts.
'Cause even though I'm gone now,
We'll never truly part." 

"Daddy please don't look so sad,momma please don't cry.
Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies.
please try not to question God, don't think he is unkind.
Don't think he sent me to you and then changed his mind.
You see I'm a special child, I am needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave Him, a product of your love.
I'll always be there with you, so watch the sky at night.
Look for the brightest star and know that's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a gentle breeze from a gentle wind that blows.
Know that it's me planting a kiss upon your nose.
When you see a child playing and your heart feels a tug,
Don't be sad mommy, that's just me giving your heart a hug.
So daddy don't looks so sad and momma please don't cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies!"

"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world."

"An Angel in the book of life wrote down our babies birth, and whispered as she close the book....."Too beautiful for this earth."

Little footprints
How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint you footsteps have left upon our hearts. -Dorothy Ferguson

"Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap and tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap and tell them about me?"

 

10.4.10...The only picture we have of our baby.... 7 weeks, 6 days.

I still feel numb but my feelings of anger have only gotten stronger as the day went on. I'm scared for tomorrow. I want to cry but the tears don't flow like they should.

I'm not coping well... unfortunately, I'm aware of this.

Please pray.