(Let this entry serve as proof that my kid isn't always as sweet as I make her out to be. And that parenting isn't for the weak of heart!)
So, 29 months is now upon us and Little Miss Liana is showing us snippets to a side of her I'm not terribly fond of.
Apparently in this household, 29 months brings with it:
Obstinence.
Challenges.
Frustration.
Attitude.
Testing the limits.
Large quantities of the word "NO!".
Everything taking 10x longer than it should.
Less fear.
More risk.
Oh, sweet Liana.... you're becoming more like your mother every day. In some ways, that's okay. In other ways, I know I'm going to be in for it.
Today I had the displeasure of being "that mom" for the very first time. I have to say, I wasn't a fan of it.
While running a few errands, things were going wonderfully. Liana was sitting in the cart like a champ, entertaining herself as she needed to, hamming it up with whoever was closest. Then, we hit our last and final store and things quickly fell apart.
Now, my kid is typically pretty good about staying close to Mommy and Daddy when we're out and about. I usually have her in the cart at the store unless there is another adult with me but as she was doing so well this morning, I decided to give her a little bit of freedom.
The first 15 minutes went by just fine as she stuck close to me just as she was supposed to. But once she saw the toys and only minutes later had most of them scattered across the aisle floor, I should have known things would only go downhill from here. I should've scooped her up and into the cart at that point and swiftly buckled her little 26 lb body in... not for her sake, but for mine. Oh how hindsight is always 20/20. ;)
So she found a truck. A pink one. And she wanted to push it. And push it. And push it. Until she was now no longer in sight of her mama... the golden rule when she's "being a big girl" and walking. Stay close to me, you'll have your freedom. If you go out of my sight, it's gone.
After a few stearn, "Liana Grace?! Where are you?! You need to stay close to Mommy so I can see you's...." I was getting annoyed. Probably because I could sense that the lady my mother's age standing in the aisle behind me was getting annoyed herself with me and my "misbehaving" child. (Yeah, she had that judgmental look to her face we all cringe at. I'm also pretty sure she took her time in said aisle because she wanted to see this drama unfold... glad I could be your entertainment for the afternoon lady!) After about 5 minutes of letting Liana test her limits and taking them further, and further, and further, my patience was wearing thin.
So I did what any mother would do. "Liana Grace, come back here right now or you're going in the cart."
And very loudly she responded, "NO!". With that naughty, "I know what I'm doing is wrong but I think it's funny anyways" grin stretched across her face.
I didn't smile. I didn't laugh. It took everything in me not to.
Very slowly and deliberately, I said, "Liana Grace, you come back here. If you can't stay next to Mommy then it's time to get in the cart."
"NO!"
And as the steam started to blow like a whistle out of my ears, I started walking toward her. By this time, we were in the main aisle.... where EVERYONE could see.
She ran. For her life I'm sure.... because she knew what was coming at her. And yet, she laughed. (Maybe cackle would be a more appropriate term?!)
So I was at that crossroads. Do I let her run out of my sight, get scared, and come back herself? That would teach her. Or do I chase after her, in the process allowing myself to become "that mom"?
Had it not been the automatic doors on the front of the store that could've easily released her into the wild of the parking lot, I would've let her run. Swear.to.God.
But the thought of my kid being crushed by a car just doesn't sit well with me. (Go figure.) So, I chased... in a deliberate, speed walk, "I'm 30 weeks pregnant and too tired to deal with this crap" kind of way. All the mean while, yelling "LIANA GRACE! GET OVER HERE NOW!".
Yep, I had become "that mom". The one I had hoped never to be.
She stood, 15 feet ahead of me, and laughed. In my face. With everyone watching. If I took a step, she took five. There was no way of grabbing her without running like a lunatic through the store.
I took a deep, "Don't cry Haley. Don't cry." breath.
And then I did the only thing I thought might work.
"Okay Liana. I'm leaving. Bye bye!" and started to walk away.
Thankfully, she didn't call my bluff. It didn't take more than two seconds before she was chasing after me, saying "Mommy I come! Mommy I come!".
To which I abruptly turned around and scooped her up in the "I may be the angriest mom on the planet right now" kind of way. I took the pink truck away from her and assertively put it back on the shelf. She knew instantly she had done wrong and as I buckled her into the cart, she cried. Sad tears. Angry tears. "Why is my mommy being mean to me and taking my pink truck away?" tears.
And after I angrily told her that running from her mommy is naughty, I ignored those cries. When she asked for her truck, I simply said "No." No comfort. No hugs or kisses.
My kid got the cold shoulder in the worst possible way.
And I won't lie.....I felt better.
See, the thing she doesn't yet realize is that I'm as stubborn as they come when I want to be (shocking, I know). In a battle vs. wills, I'll win. I'm surprised she didn't learn that lesson last week when I put her in at least 10 consecutive time-outs for refusing to help pick up the mess she had made at my parents house.
Yes, I wanted to break down and cry out of frustration. But I didn't. This mom is as loving as they come.... but is also tough as nails when she has to be.
Lesson learned, Liana Grace?!
Probably not. Yet. :)
29 months has posed us with lots of wonderful qualities and moments. Almost as equally though, it's posed us with some difficult ones.
I know things are going to get more complicated in the "discipline" department from here on out. I know that sometime all too soon, she'll be calling my bluff and as I pretend to leave her behind, it won't affect her. God only knows what I'll do at that point. Will I be the mom dragging her misbehaving preschooler out of the store by one arm?! Only time will tell. I hope not.
And to think... we're about to add to this madness in just a few short weeks. God, help me. ;)
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Words of Wisdom... the Monday version.
I woke up at 5am (thanks to my sweet Liana) and find myself unable to fall back asleep as my mind is racing. Quotes always help to explain just how I'm feeling without me having to actually put the words together myself. So here it goes....
Harsh words hurt feelings but silence breaks hearts.
Harsh words hurt feelings but silence breaks hearts.
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.- Martin Luther King Jr.
Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. -Ben Franklin
Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been and look ahead to what would be. Other days, now days, days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves for growing up. - The Wonder Years
It's just something that happens as you grow up. You realize it's less important to have more friends and it's more important to have real ones. -Laguna Beach
The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn.
You shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it. -Sex and The City
Trust is a fragile thing. Once earned, it affords us tremendous freedom. But once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we're closest to can betray us. And total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned. -Desperate Housewives
It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew. -Henry Rollins
Good Friends surround you on the mountaintop and applaud. Best Friends walk with you in the valley and hold your hand.
Friends are made by many acts.... and lost by only one.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
28 Months.
Oh my sweet Liana, how are you possibly 28 months already?
I have to say that my time with you these days is very bittersweet.
Bitter because I know this "just me and you" time is going to quickly come to an end. That you're life is going to change in ways that you cannot even fathom with the addition of a new baby brother. That in 12 weeks or less, you will have to share your mommy and daddy with someone who needs us just as much as you do.... if not more. And sharing us is something you've never had to do before.
And we also have bitter moments. Like when you throw tantrums because I put the wrong pair of shoes on you. Or the wrong diaper on you. (God forbid it have JUST Mickey Mouse on it and not Mickey AND Minnie! Anyone who knew me as a child can understand why this is paybacks for what I put my own mother through so many years ago.) Oh, and lets not forget those moments when my body is exhausted and I'm just trying to get you into the car but instead, you insist on running from me like it's your job... yeah, those are my favorites. Not.
But the bitter moments are far outweighed by the sweet ones. Like when you give me hugs and kisses without me having to ask and all the other affection you now show at 28 months. The fact that I'm officially your favorite parent and daddy knows it. (Though I reassure him that his time will come too.) The way you carry on complete conversations with me and say things that I'm simply astounded by. (ie.... "Mommy, I so happy right now" as you give me the worlds best hug.) How you've become a domestic diva and now like to pretend cook, clean, and take care of your baby doll. Seeing you make the transition from sleeping in your crib to a "big girl bed" rather effortlessly and without any tears. Having our mornings together completely transformed as you not only climb into bed with me to snuggle, but we can easily spend an hour there together watching Mickey or Jake & The Neverland Pirates. Not to mention the way you fit so perfectly as my little spoon and you love it when I just run my fingers across the length of your arm.... it gets you every time.
Want more? You are crazy about having your toes painted. The minute you see that I'm going to repaint my own, you're all over it. After much practice, you've learned how to sit very still until they dry too! Once they are, you show them off to everyone and anyone. How about the way you love on your baby brother before he's even born and find so much curiosity in this growing belly of mine. (According to you, Mommy has a baby boy in her belly, you have a baby girl in yours, and Daddy has a dog in his! Oh the things you say these days...) And watching you love on your dogs too. Over the past few weeks, you've taken a keen liking to Bauer which is honestly something I didn't expect. Moose has always been the one to play with you while Bauer layed around and simply watched you. But these days, you've found the magic in our "older and wiser" dog and you shower him with the hugs and kisses he adores. I can tell he's become a little more smitten with you lately, too! At 28 months, you sing like it's your job. In the car, in the bath, when you're alone in your playroom or because you want to put on a show. I joked with daddy yesterday and said you're going to be the next Taylor Swift as you walked around with your maracas and sang us one of your many songs. A mama can dream, right?! Your list of your current favorites: Barney's "I Love You" theme song, Baa Baa Black Sheep, ABC's, "It's a happy spring day...." from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Old McDonald Had a Farm (this was all you sang for WEEKS in the car.... I started to go nuts!), and B-I-N-G-O.
These days, you eat pretty consistently. A decent breakfast and then a good lunch or dinner... but never both. You have the same sweet tooth your mama does and you crave carbs just the same, as well. We tried potty training briefly this month but you made it pretty obvious that you just weren't ready. Rather than pushing the subject, we figured it'd be best to just wait until you're ready. While we had hoped you'd be quite the waterbug this year, you definitely are not. The only pool you like is the baby pool we bought for you last summer (it holds only 3-4 inches of water) and though you're willing enough to step into it, the moment your bathing suit becomes wet you demand to be changed into your clothes. In addition, you hate when anyone else is in the water too.... if you see someone in the pool, you whimper and fuss while saying "[Insert name here) clothes on?"
A few of your new skills? Identifying both letters and numbers by sight. I show you a 3, you know it's a 3. I show you the letter Y, you know it's the letter Y. My child, you're brilliant. :)
So thankfully, I've watched you slowly blossom into more of a social butterfly just within the past six weeks. Throughout the past six months, you were painfully shy towards kids or adults. While you're still a bit shy towards the adults you don't see regularly, you're adjusting when it comes to playing with other kids. Playgroup used to be difficult because you'd go off on your own and mostly play by yourself. If we went to a playground and other kids took an interest in you, you'd remain quiet until they eventually just ran off to play with someone else. But lately? You've participated. You've interacted. You've made new friends which has left this mama's heart very, very happy. Nothing brings me more joy than seeing you enjoy yourself and not be attached to my hip for security. I pray that you continue to blossom in this way as I know firsthand how painful it is as a kid to be the shy one.
Some current favorites: Swinging. You'd swing for hours if we let you.... literally. "Orange" cereal... aka Honey Bunches of Oats. Second runner up is Frosted Mini Wheats. Curious George cartoons. The color purple... which is why your "big girl room" is the most beautiful lavender I could find. And you love it. :) Being turned "upside down". Cats. You LOVE cats! This is why we take so many trips over to Auntie Brittany's house to see Sophie and Amaya. Chocolate milk. Blanket.... and only the fleece one I made you which is definitely more suitable during the winter months, but you insist on using it in July.
Liana Grace, 28 months is wonderful. You may be posing us with some challenges as you learn to exert your new found independence but you are still the sweetest little girl and I still love you to the moon and back. I worry that your brother will get the "short end of the stick" so to speak because I find myself doubting that I can love anyone as much as I love you... but I also find reassurance that the love in my heart won't divide once he's born, it'll multiply. My heart leaps at the thought of you having your own "someone" in this great big world as I think a sibling relationship gives us "someone" we can always love, trust, and depend upon, no matter what. My heart also leaps at the mere thought of how much you could love this little guy and how you'll likely find so much purpose in him yourself.
One more thing....
I understand now how a firstborn has such a special place in their mother's heart.
You opened me up to a love I never knew existed. You made me want more. You turned Daddy and me into a family. You changed the person I was into the person I now am.... very much for the better. My life is no longer lived for myself. It's lived for you. And soon, your brother too. But all of these things? They're things only you could have done as my first child.
Liana Grace, I love you. Happy 28 months, baby girl. <3
I have to say that my time with you these days is very bittersweet.
Bitter because I know this "just me and you" time is going to quickly come to an end. That you're life is going to change in ways that you cannot even fathom with the addition of a new baby brother. That in 12 weeks or less, you will have to share your mommy and daddy with someone who needs us just as much as you do.... if not more. And sharing us is something you've never had to do before.
And we also have bitter moments. Like when you throw tantrums because I put the wrong pair of shoes on you. Or the wrong diaper on you. (God forbid it have JUST Mickey Mouse on it and not Mickey AND Minnie! Anyone who knew me as a child can understand why this is paybacks for what I put my own mother through so many years ago.) Oh, and lets not forget those moments when my body is exhausted and I'm just trying to get you into the car but instead, you insist on running from me like it's your job... yeah, those are my favorites. Not.
But the bitter moments are far outweighed by the sweet ones. Like when you give me hugs and kisses without me having to ask and all the other affection you now show at 28 months. The fact that I'm officially your favorite parent and daddy knows it. (Though I reassure him that his time will come too.) The way you carry on complete conversations with me and say things that I'm simply astounded by. (ie.... "Mommy, I so happy right now" as you give me the worlds best hug.) How you've become a domestic diva and now like to pretend cook, clean, and take care of your baby doll. Seeing you make the transition from sleeping in your crib to a "big girl bed" rather effortlessly and without any tears. Having our mornings together completely transformed as you not only climb into bed with me to snuggle, but we can easily spend an hour there together watching Mickey or Jake & The Neverland Pirates. Not to mention the way you fit so perfectly as my little spoon and you love it when I just run my fingers across the length of your arm.... it gets you every time.
Want more? You are crazy about having your toes painted. The minute you see that I'm going to repaint my own, you're all over it. After much practice, you've learned how to sit very still until they dry too! Once they are, you show them off to everyone and anyone. How about the way you love on your baby brother before he's even born and find so much curiosity in this growing belly of mine. (According to you, Mommy has a baby boy in her belly, you have a baby girl in yours, and Daddy has a dog in his! Oh the things you say these days...) And watching you love on your dogs too. Over the past few weeks, you've taken a keen liking to Bauer which is honestly something I didn't expect. Moose has always been the one to play with you while Bauer layed around and simply watched you. But these days, you've found the magic in our "older and wiser" dog and you shower him with the hugs and kisses he adores. I can tell he's become a little more smitten with you lately, too! At 28 months, you sing like it's your job. In the car, in the bath, when you're alone in your playroom or because you want to put on a show. I joked with daddy yesterday and said you're going to be the next Taylor Swift as you walked around with your maracas and sang us one of your many songs. A mama can dream, right?! Your list of your current favorites: Barney's "I Love You" theme song, Baa Baa Black Sheep, ABC's, "It's a happy spring day...." from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Old McDonald Had a Farm (this was all you sang for WEEKS in the car.... I started to go nuts!), and B-I-N-G-O.
These days, you eat pretty consistently. A decent breakfast and then a good lunch or dinner... but never both. You have the same sweet tooth your mama does and you crave carbs just the same, as well. We tried potty training briefly this month but you made it pretty obvious that you just weren't ready. Rather than pushing the subject, we figured it'd be best to just wait until you're ready. While we had hoped you'd be quite the waterbug this year, you definitely are not. The only pool you like is the baby pool we bought for you last summer (it holds only 3-4 inches of water) and though you're willing enough to step into it, the moment your bathing suit becomes wet you demand to be changed into your clothes. In addition, you hate when anyone else is in the water too.... if you see someone in the pool, you whimper and fuss while saying "[Insert name here) clothes on?"
A few of your new skills? Identifying both letters and numbers by sight. I show you a 3, you know it's a 3. I show you the letter Y, you know it's the letter Y. My child, you're brilliant. :)
So thankfully, I've watched you slowly blossom into more of a social butterfly just within the past six weeks. Throughout the past six months, you were painfully shy towards kids or adults. While you're still a bit shy towards the adults you don't see regularly, you're adjusting when it comes to playing with other kids. Playgroup used to be difficult because you'd go off on your own and mostly play by yourself. If we went to a playground and other kids took an interest in you, you'd remain quiet until they eventually just ran off to play with someone else. But lately? You've participated. You've interacted. You've made new friends which has left this mama's heart very, very happy. Nothing brings me more joy than seeing you enjoy yourself and not be attached to my hip for security. I pray that you continue to blossom in this way as I know firsthand how painful it is as a kid to be the shy one.
Some current favorites: Swinging. You'd swing for hours if we let you.... literally. "Orange" cereal... aka Honey Bunches of Oats. Second runner up is Frosted Mini Wheats. Curious George cartoons. The color purple... which is why your "big girl room" is the most beautiful lavender I could find. And you love it. :) Being turned "upside down". Cats. You LOVE cats! This is why we take so many trips over to Auntie Brittany's house to see Sophie and Amaya. Chocolate milk. Blanket.... and only the fleece one I made you which is definitely more suitable during the winter months, but you insist on using it in July.
Liana Grace, 28 months is wonderful. You may be posing us with some challenges as you learn to exert your new found independence but you are still the sweetest little girl and I still love you to the moon and back. I worry that your brother will get the "short end of the stick" so to speak because I find myself doubting that I can love anyone as much as I love you... but I also find reassurance that the love in my heart won't divide once he's born, it'll multiply. My heart leaps at the thought of you having your own "someone" in this great big world as I think a sibling relationship gives us "someone" we can always love, trust, and depend upon, no matter what. My heart also leaps at the mere thought of how much you could love this little guy and how you'll likely find so much purpose in him yourself.
One more thing....
I understand now how a firstborn has such a special place in their mother's heart.
You opened me up to a love I never knew existed. You made me want more. You turned Daddy and me into a family. You changed the person I was into the person I now am.... very much for the better. My life is no longer lived for myself. It's lived for you. And soon, your brother too. But all of these things? They're things only you could have done as my first child.
Liana Grace, I love you. Happy 28 months, baby girl. <3
Monday, August 1, 2011
Adventures in potty training!
These last three weeks have been what I would call "nuts".
It feels SO good to finally be able to sit back and relax a little because for those three weeks, I honest-to-God didn't have the time to. Everyday was go go go and by the end of it, I was too exhausted to do anything but park myself in front of the tv for an hour before dragging myself off to bed.
I suppose you might say that my nesting instincts have been in full gear. They came a little earlier this time around but you won't find me complaining about that because there's no way I could've physically been doing these past three weeks during those last 10 weeks. I'm glad to know things are, for the most part, settled.
Last week was the grand finale, the culmination of all my/our hard work. Liana's big girl bedroom is done but is without one major detail.... furniture. After ordering the best bedroom set Art Van had to offer, we were extremely disappointed once everything was put together to see that the quality was less than impressive. As a result we promptly returned everything to the store (which wasn't a simple process and involved me playing my "I'm a desperate preggo" card with the manager who thankfully took pity upon me) and I've reordered a different set from Northwestern Home Furnishings off of Leonard (who I'd recommend in a heartbeat) that should arrive in about 3 weeks. While my project didn't get done when I had hoped it would, things worked out just as they should have. (I swear, God puts His hands into the most random of places in my life sometimes and I continue to find myself feeling quite grateful for that. He continues to prove that he knows what timing is best for us even when we think we know what's best for ourselves.)
Also last week we were scheduled to have The Kranz's visit for a four day weekend. Sadly, Kate's grandma passed away on Wednesday morning so they ended up not being able to come.
What a letdown of a week, huh?
With the lack of bedroom furniture and the lack of Kranz's, I woke up on Tuesday and found myself determined not to let my six days off from work go to waste. For months I've been worried about when and how to potty train Liana (do I do it this summer or wait til after the baby has been here a few months?) on top of how and when to transition her into her big girl room. I didn't want to create too many changes for her at once so I knew things would have to be timed just right. While I had ultimately decided to do the transition to a big girl room first, the lack of furniture and the time off pushed me quickly into the other direction. I made the decision that come Thursday morning, Liana and I would officially begin potty training.
Ready or not, here we go! ;)
As soon as the decision was made, Mike and I started talking the whole plan up as much as we could. She wasn't too into the whole idea but I had figured she wouldn't be.... after all, this is the same kid that has refused to sit on the potty without her diaper on for the past four months. Despite my fear of pushing her too hard, we didn't let her have much choice in the matter and framed it as "the big girl thing to do". Slowly but still unsurely, she began to take to the idea.... or maybe she just didn't fight it. Wednesday night after work we took her to Meijer to stock up on all her "goodies": balloons for her potty chair, stickers and treats for her successes, and panties that she liked (Minnie Mouse, of course).
Thursday morning, she initially fought me when I announced that we wouldn't be putting her diaper on and would instead be wearing her "big girl" panties. I covered the family room with blankets to protect the carpet from any future accidents and we had her "potty training station" set up in the dining area where it was easily accessible and in the middle of everything. I taught her the rules of the potty training game (1 treat for each time she sits on the potty and is still dry, 2 treats for when she pees/poops on the potty) and very quickly the 'fun' began. While still a bit resistant to sitting on her potty, I urged (NOT forced) her to do so and as time continued, things slowly improved.
By the time she had gone down for her nap at 1:30, Liana had 7 accidents and 1 success. The success came just before naptime and I made a HUGE deal out of it. She got a sticker for her chart and two gummies for her belly. She helped me flush her potty down the toilet and you could tell the kid was beaming with pride over what she had accomplished. I had truly hoped that with one success, she would start to catch on about what it was that we were trying to do.... unfortunately, that wasn't quite the case.
After naps, the accidents continued. And continued. And continued. I got my system down pat that day and learned something important: I could totally do cloth diapers. Even her poop didn't phase this mama! :)
After a day of not much progress, we decided to put her in a pull-up on Thursday night for her sake and for ours. I knew she'd wet herself through the night and I wanted her to feel rested for the day ahead on Friday. Plus, God didn't do it all in one day, what makes me think I can?!
Friday morning we both woke up early.... and tired. My sister and I had ventured out to the Taylor Swift concert on Thursday night and while the concert was amazing and totally worth it, I didn't get the sleep I needed. Mike had taken Friday off but went to play hockey in the morning so I was on my own for the first three hours. Two hours into our "Friday fiasco" I placed a desperate call to my mom at work and asked, "At what point do I admit she's not ready?" We had a long heart-to-heart on the subject and she reassured me in saying that she didn't feel like Liana was quite ready yet, either. As she had stayed with Liana for a few hours on Thursday while Mike and I were gone, I felt better in knowing that I wasn't alone in my thoughts of her not being quite ready. After we got off the phone and Liana had experienced her 5th accident in two hours, I gave her the choice.... diaper or panty? She quickly chose diaper and I called it quits.
Soon after, I texted Kate with the news that potty-training was officially a no-go. Over the next hour she reassured me that many of the things that Liana was doing (frequent accidents, not wanting to sit on the potty) were also things that Lily had done but that with patience and a refusal to quit, Lily grasped the concept within those first 48-72 hours. With a restored hope, we put the panties back on just in time for Mike to walk through the door and start helping out.
But by 3:30pm, we were again done. It got to the point that afternoon, after only one more "fluke" success, that Mike and I both looked at each other and said, "She's just not ready." Immediately I felt a wave of relief wash over me because not only did I feel it, but he felt it as well. And so did my mom.
For Liana, it all came down to the biological processes. She knew when she was going but she couldn't seem to tell when she had to go. So by the time she realized she had to go, she was already going. Wet panties didn't teach her anything, as I've heard they do with so many other kids. Yes, she'd want them changed instantly, but it wasn't unnerving enough to stop her from actually having an accident. Her panties essentially became an extension of a diaper.... just another place you pee when you have to go. Not the most helpful, right?
So at 2 years 4 months, my kid is still in diapers. And quite frankly, I'm good with that. Yes, I felt like a failure at first but once I did some more reading on the subject and was reminded that not all children are aware of their bodily processes at this age and that it has nothing to do with their emotional or intellectual maturity, I found comfort. I felt reassurance. Because I know my kid. I know she's smart. And I know she'll get it. Just not yet.
I learned one other important thing throughout this potty training adventure.... I need to trust my "motherly intuition" more often. Despite Lily only being five weeks older than Liana and being so successful with her potty training, I knew Liana wasn't ready before we even began. I wanted to try anyways though, just in case, and honestly I'm glad I did because there's no regrets this way. Liana just didn't have the "tell tale" signs that so many trainable kids have. And if I'm to be honest, my gut tells me that my kid won't be ready for a while. She's so smart... almost too much so at times.... and I can just see her being the 3 year old that potty trains herself in a day. Frankly, that seems like the easiest way to do this and I'm okay with giving her that control over this aspect of her life. What good could come from forcing her before she's ready? Rebellion and retaliation, that's what. Plus, there's always that "independent variable" of a baby brother that would likely push her one way or another - into regression or into independence.
So, the diapers are back and I'm feeling pretty good about that. We're enjoying the freedom and independence they provide us with right now and we all feel a sense of relief in knowing that the pressure is off for now.
For now, we wait. We wait for her big girl room to be finished. We wait for her brother's nursery to get started on (which will be a Mike project... not a Mike and Haley project... and will be much more simple). We focus on these last 13 weeks (or so) that we have as a family of three and find calm and comfort wherever we can. Mike and I are desperately trying to soak up this time with our little girl as much as we can before we become a family of four and she has to share her mommy and daddy.
I feel good with where we are and what we've accomplished thus far.
And while I'm growing increasingly uncomfortable these days, I do have to say....
Life is good. :)
It feels SO good to finally be able to sit back and relax a little because for those three weeks, I honest-to-God didn't have the time to. Everyday was go go go and by the end of it, I was too exhausted to do anything but park myself in front of the tv for an hour before dragging myself off to bed.
I suppose you might say that my nesting instincts have been in full gear. They came a little earlier this time around but you won't find me complaining about that because there's no way I could've physically been doing these past three weeks during those last 10 weeks. I'm glad to know things are, for the most part, settled.
Last week was the grand finale, the culmination of all my/our hard work. Liana's big girl bedroom is done but is without one major detail.... furniture. After ordering the best bedroom set Art Van had to offer, we were extremely disappointed once everything was put together to see that the quality was less than impressive. As a result we promptly returned everything to the store (which wasn't a simple process and involved me playing my "I'm a desperate preggo" card with the manager who thankfully took pity upon me) and I've reordered a different set from Northwestern Home Furnishings off of Leonard (who I'd recommend in a heartbeat) that should arrive in about 3 weeks. While my project didn't get done when I had hoped it would, things worked out just as they should have. (I swear, God puts His hands into the most random of places in my life sometimes and I continue to find myself feeling quite grateful for that. He continues to prove that he knows what timing is best for us even when we think we know what's best for ourselves.)
Also last week we were scheduled to have The Kranz's visit for a four day weekend. Sadly, Kate's grandma passed away on Wednesday morning so they ended up not being able to come.
What a letdown of a week, huh?
With the lack of bedroom furniture and the lack of Kranz's, I woke up on Tuesday and found myself determined not to let my six days off from work go to waste. For months I've been worried about when and how to potty train Liana (do I do it this summer or wait til after the baby has been here a few months?) on top of how and when to transition her into her big girl room. I didn't want to create too many changes for her at once so I knew things would have to be timed just right. While I had ultimately decided to do the transition to a big girl room first, the lack of furniture and the time off pushed me quickly into the other direction. I made the decision that come Thursday morning, Liana and I would officially begin potty training.
Ready or not, here we go! ;)
As soon as the decision was made, Mike and I started talking the whole plan up as much as we could. She wasn't too into the whole idea but I had figured she wouldn't be.... after all, this is the same kid that has refused to sit on the potty without her diaper on for the past four months. Despite my fear of pushing her too hard, we didn't let her have much choice in the matter and framed it as "the big girl thing to do". Slowly but still unsurely, she began to take to the idea.... or maybe she just didn't fight it. Wednesday night after work we took her to Meijer to stock up on all her "goodies": balloons for her potty chair, stickers and treats for her successes, and panties that she liked (Minnie Mouse, of course).
Thursday morning, she initially fought me when I announced that we wouldn't be putting her diaper on and would instead be wearing her "big girl" panties. I covered the family room with blankets to protect the carpet from any future accidents and we had her "potty training station" set up in the dining area where it was easily accessible and in the middle of everything. I taught her the rules of the potty training game (1 treat for each time she sits on the potty and is still dry, 2 treats for when she pees/poops on the potty) and very quickly the 'fun' began. While still a bit resistant to sitting on her potty, I urged (NOT forced) her to do so and as time continued, things slowly improved.
By the time she had gone down for her nap at 1:30, Liana had 7 accidents and 1 success. The success came just before naptime and I made a HUGE deal out of it. She got a sticker for her chart and two gummies for her belly. She helped me flush her potty down the toilet and you could tell the kid was beaming with pride over what she had accomplished. I had truly hoped that with one success, she would start to catch on about what it was that we were trying to do.... unfortunately, that wasn't quite the case.
After naps, the accidents continued. And continued. And continued. I got my system down pat that day and learned something important: I could totally do cloth diapers. Even her poop didn't phase this mama! :)
After a day of not much progress, we decided to put her in a pull-up on Thursday night for her sake and for ours. I knew she'd wet herself through the night and I wanted her to feel rested for the day ahead on Friday. Plus, God didn't do it all in one day, what makes me think I can?!
Friday morning we both woke up early.... and tired. My sister and I had ventured out to the Taylor Swift concert on Thursday night and while the concert was amazing and totally worth it, I didn't get the sleep I needed. Mike had taken Friday off but went to play hockey in the morning so I was on my own for the first three hours. Two hours into our "Friday fiasco" I placed a desperate call to my mom at work and asked, "At what point do I admit she's not ready?" We had a long heart-to-heart on the subject and she reassured me in saying that she didn't feel like Liana was quite ready yet, either. As she had stayed with Liana for a few hours on Thursday while Mike and I were gone, I felt better in knowing that I wasn't alone in my thoughts of her not being quite ready. After we got off the phone and Liana had experienced her 5th accident in two hours, I gave her the choice.... diaper or panty? She quickly chose diaper and I called it quits.
Soon after, I texted Kate with the news that potty-training was officially a no-go. Over the next hour she reassured me that many of the things that Liana was doing (frequent accidents, not wanting to sit on the potty) were also things that Lily had done but that with patience and a refusal to quit, Lily grasped the concept within those first 48-72 hours. With a restored hope, we put the panties back on just in time for Mike to walk through the door and start helping out.
But by 3:30pm, we were again done. It got to the point that afternoon, after only one more "fluke" success, that Mike and I both looked at each other and said, "She's just not ready." Immediately I felt a wave of relief wash over me because not only did I feel it, but he felt it as well. And so did my mom.
For Liana, it all came down to the biological processes. She knew when she was going but she couldn't seem to tell when she had to go. So by the time she realized she had to go, she was already going. Wet panties didn't teach her anything, as I've heard they do with so many other kids. Yes, she'd want them changed instantly, but it wasn't unnerving enough to stop her from actually having an accident. Her panties essentially became an extension of a diaper.... just another place you pee when you have to go. Not the most helpful, right?
So at 2 years 4 months, my kid is still in diapers. And quite frankly, I'm good with that. Yes, I felt like a failure at first but once I did some more reading on the subject and was reminded that not all children are aware of their bodily processes at this age and that it has nothing to do with their emotional or intellectual maturity, I found comfort. I felt reassurance. Because I know my kid. I know she's smart. And I know she'll get it. Just not yet.
I learned one other important thing throughout this potty training adventure.... I need to trust my "motherly intuition" more often. Despite Lily only being five weeks older than Liana and being so successful with her potty training, I knew Liana wasn't ready before we even began. I wanted to try anyways though, just in case, and honestly I'm glad I did because there's no regrets this way. Liana just didn't have the "tell tale" signs that so many trainable kids have. And if I'm to be honest, my gut tells me that my kid won't be ready for a while. She's so smart... almost too much so at times.... and I can just see her being the 3 year old that potty trains herself in a day. Frankly, that seems like the easiest way to do this and I'm okay with giving her that control over this aspect of her life. What good could come from forcing her before she's ready? Rebellion and retaliation, that's what. Plus, there's always that "independent variable" of a baby brother that would likely push her one way or another - into regression or into independence.
So, the diapers are back and I'm feeling pretty good about that. We're enjoying the freedom and independence they provide us with right now and we all feel a sense of relief in knowing that the pressure is off for now.
For now, we wait. We wait for her big girl room to be finished. We wait for her brother's nursery to get started on (which will be a Mike project... not a Mike and Haley project... and will be much more simple). We focus on these last 13 weeks (or so) that we have as a family of three and find calm and comfort wherever we can. Mike and I are desperately trying to soak up this time with our little girl as much as we can before we become a family of four and she has to share her mommy and daddy.
I feel good with where we are and what we've accomplished thus far.
And while I'm growing increasingly uncomfortable these days, I do have to say....
Life is good. :)
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