The finished product!

So we had our apple-picking mini session on Friday. Liana turned 18 months, we braved the wind and the cold weather, but our pictures turned out great! We haven't gotten our CD of proofs back yet, but these were the ones I was able to save from our photographers (POSH Photography) facebook site. So, ta-da! Here's your preview! I'll post more when I get them! :)

 Oh, how I love them!

She makes her mama melt.... 18 months is so, so good. Just like them apples. :)

Our craziness of a week.

Wow, has this week flown by. I can't believe tomorrow is Friday already, which means Saturday is coming too. Right now, I hate weekends.... I'm so ready to be done working them but I'm not quite there.  While I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, this feels vaguely familiar to how I felt when I was 36 weeks pregnant and just WAITING for Liana to get here. I know the joy is coming but it feels like if I wait even a second longer, I'm going to explode. I just cannot wait to be off weekends.

This week has been a crazy one. Tuesday night was an on-call night for me, so my parents graciously offered to take Liana for the night so that Mike could get some stuff done around the house and I wouldn't have to worry about the two of them if I got called out. Which I did. I worked from 5:30-9pm with another hour or so of charting on top of that. Thankfully though, no middle-of -night phone calls came my way.

While I had every intention of sleeping in on Wednesday, I was up at the crack of dawn despite the fact that my "Liana alarm" wasn't here to wake me up. So instead, I made my way downstairs, in my pj's, and watched my DVR until noon. It was glorious! (Aside from the crazy ridiculous headache that had been torturing me since Sunday, but at least I didn't have to worry about caring for Liana with that beast pulsating through my head.) I had oreos for lunch (typical) and worked on our 2010 scrapbook. Before I knew it the clock said 3:30 and I finally decided to jump in the shower and get ready for our family dinner. I got to my parents a little after 5 and was so excited to see a oh-so-excited little girl anxiously awaiting my arrival.

I'd also like to point out how appreciated a day to myself is every once in a while. Seriously, for this tired mama, there is NOTHING better than sitting on the couch all day, resting, relaxing, and not having a care in the world. No little person pulling at you... wanting one thing after another...needing you for everything. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted. As much as I love Liana and the joy she's brought to my life (and I wouldn't give her up for anything!!!) I sure do miss the days when all I had to worry about was myself. Freedom from your child is a wonderful thing every once in a while and it does a mama good! :)

I tell you.... nothing makes this mama feel more loved than the smiles and squeals she radiates when I show up.

We had dinner with my family and my grandparents to celebrate Mike's birthday.

By far, the highlight of our dinner was when Liana decided to run around the table, in duck-duck-goose-like fashion, naming each of her family members. "Papa. Nana (who got a big hug each time!). Auntie. Gipa (my papa). Gigi. Mama. Daddy." She did this at least three times.... which was just enough to make each one of us grin from ear to ear. Oh how this little girl is loved!!

Afterwards, Mike and Liana headed home while I headed over to a funeral visitation for Jimm's (my best friend Megan's husband) grandpa.

Tonight, unfortunately, I'm on call again. I really hate on-call.... there's nothing worse than having your day off turned upside down by work. Brittany and Mike have made plans to head over to Rivertown to do some birthday shopping and I'm bummed that I probably won't be able to go.... but, such is life as a hospice social worker. Our jobs are never-ending.

Tomorrow though? Tomorrow will be great. My mom has the day off and is having a garage sale, so I might go over to help her with that for a few hours. But then at 5pm, we have a family mini-session with a local photographer at Klackle Orchards. I'm praying that the weather holds out (it's only supposed to rain in the morning) and that Liana does well for the pictures. After all, she's also turning 18 months tomorrow (can you believe it?!) so the timing couldn't be more perfect. I can't wait to see the end result.... I'll post them as soon as we get them back! :)

And then the weekend comes. Someday weekends, someday I'll love you again.

So sad.

Well, here we are again, Monday.

But unlike most Monday's, I'm bumming today. Our weekend is over... the weekend that I looked forward to for nearly 7 weeks. The one where so many of our friends were in town. The one where I only worked 6 hours and took PTO for the other 18. The one where the Kranz's were here hanging out with us.

I miss the Kranz's. Why must they live on the East side of the state? Darn you, Ferndale P.D., for screwing just about everything up. (Right Kate?!)

Sterling Heights really isn't so far away, but when I work weekends and it's hard to get there for visits with both Liana and Mike in tow, it seems like we go forever between visits. And that stinks!

Anyways, our weekend was great. Friday we hung out, visited with the Prins', and then had dinner with the Burns'. Saturday was the big day.... Mike and Marty playing in the GVSU Iron Man Tournament all day and Mike's team ended up winning the whole thing. I worked on Saturday from 9-2 and got to the rink around 2:15 with just enough time to visit with the hockey wives, meet some of the hockey kiddos, and see Mike win the championship. My parents, who had watched Liana in the morning, dropped her off around 2:45 so she was there to celebrate with us too. After the games were done we had a nice dinner at Bdubs with some of the crew and then came straight home. By 5:45 I was in my pj's and exhausted...as was everyone else in my household. While we had initially expected for Saturday night to be our "late night out", we ended up just staying in and everyone was in bed by 10pm.

Does that mean we're really old and lame?! ;)

Sunday was a lazy day around here. It was Mike's 27th birthday!!! In the morning, I handed Liana a card and said, "Go give this to Daddy." Seeing her seek him out and hand it to him was adorable. I kind of wanted to do something during the day, but the Kranz's had family pictures scheduled for 4pm and we all wanted to make sure that Lily was well rested for those. So instead we stayed put and truth be told... I loved it even more than getting out and doing something. The boys watched the Lion's game and Kate, the girls and I all napped while they did. As they left for their pics (with everyone looking super cute, might I add) we headed over to my in-law's for a family get together.  :)

Last night, I was again in bed around 10pm. I don't know what was up with me bc I rarely go to bed before 1030, but I think all the excitement from the weekend just wore me right out!

And today, well today is disappointing. The Kranz's are gone and Liana and I are both pretty sad about it. Trust me... we've both shed some tears.

There were so many wonderful parts to our weekends with our friends. I love seeing Liana have a buddy... someone to play with and learn from. I love watching Liana and Lily work through their "disagreements" and play well together. I love going from Friday, where they weren't quite sure about each other (it's been almost 6 months since they last saw each other) to yesterday, where they were like old pals again. I love Liana calling out for Jager (their dog) and loving him just as much as she loves her own. I love seeing her give Kate and Marty some love just as much as I love getting it myself.

I love having a full and bustling home. I love seeing clothes strewn about, Lily being able to borrow whatever she needs from Liana and Kate whatever she needs to borrow from me. I love the comfort that is the four of us adults just hanging out because it comes so easily to us all. I love that after years of separation, we've been able to pick back up where we once left off.

I'm hopeful that I'll be off my weekend gig by the end of October (though I wish it were much, much sooner than that!). And once I am, I can't wait to be able to make trips as a family to visit the Kranz's more often.

This weekend was a good one. One that I wish didn't have to end but I know that we'll be able to have more like it sometime soon.

And in other news? Our checking account is again ours.... after the jerk in FL spent more than $1500 of our money (which Chase promptly replaced. Thank you, Chase!). Hopefully our problems in that department are now over for good!

Have a good week, everyone!

Thankful.

Wow, 2 posts in 2 days?! I'm on a roll!!

But really, I just came here to say one quick thing....

I am so truly and humbly thankful that Liana is a happy and healthy kid.

I've been slightly freaking out this past week after finding out that a little 5 year old girl, Ava, who's dad has a blog that I follow, died on Labor Day from glioblastoma. For those of you not in the medical field, that's brain cancer, and it's bad news. Very, very bad news. Ava was diagnosed only 10 weeks before her death, which sent me reeling. How can your life go from happy and normal to full of loss and grief in just a few short weeks?

So last week was rough. I just kept thinking to myself, "Lord, please never take this little girl away from me. I couldn't handle it."

We give birth to our babies and dream of all the things we'll experience with them someday... going off to their first day of school, learning how to ride a bike, celebrating their 16th birthday and fearfully handing over the keys to the car, seeing them dress up for prom, graduate from high school, go off to college, get married, and be there when they have their own babies.

I can't imagine not being able to celebrate even one of these things with Liana. How empty that would leave me feeling... the void that a loss like that would leave in my heart for the rest of my life.

Ava didn't get to celebrate any of those things. (Well, she probably learned how to ride her bike.) And neither did her parents. Their only daughter is now gone... they'll never get to walk her down that aisle. I can't even fathom the pain they must feel in knowing that.

And then today, Liana and I were at the park. She was running around, giggling, enjoying everything to the fullest and after a while another young girl, probably around the age of 4 or 5, arrived. And I watched. I watched as her dad chased her all over the place... I watched as she demolished pieces of the playground I didn't think were breakable... I watched as she screamed repeatedly...  I watched as the other parents (including myself) instantly picked up on her behavior and went into protective mode whenever she got near their children because she was so forceful...and quickly, I realized that this wasn't just any little girl. This little girl was autistic.

And again, I was thankful. I think all the parents on that playground were. It put things into perspective for me once again and I said a silent prayer thanking God for a happy, healthy child.

Seriously.... who knew parenthood could be so scary? I never realized how out of control I was in this life I lead until I became a mother.

Our up and down weekend.

Happy Monday!!!

This weekend was busy... like usual. I worked... like usual. And I wasn't feeling it.... like usual. I'm trying to keep my head in the "weekend option game", but it's hard. I'm ready to be done and have time to spend with my family and friends. Thankfully there's a light at the end of the tunnel and I hope I'm in that light before I know it.

But, work wasn't the only thing that we had going on.

Saturday night, we had Matt and Amy Sobczak's wedding reception and it was a blast. I was a little nervous going because the group we would "know" were people we hadn't seen in years and people Mike had worked with at O'Mara, so it's not like I even knew them all that well to begin with. But, everyone was so eager to talk with us and see how Kadzban life was going so that helped a lot. The party was great... they had their reception at English Hills and I was really impressed with how well that place cleans up. The service was great, the atmosphere was great, and having a dance floor run the entire length of the building in between the tables (which were along each side of the room) was great for entertainment purposes. I do have to admit that I may have officially made it to old lady-hood though, as I found it much more fun to sit and watch the younger peeps dance than for me to dance on my own.

Here's the only picture I managed to get from the night... one of Mike dancing with Matt (go figure) during the dollar dance. :)

Saturday night after the wedding? Not so great. Mike and I both got some seriously upset stomachs from something we at at the reception. While my stomach ache was short lived, Mike wasn't as fortunate and we're pretty sure he caught a mild case of food poisoning from some rare prime rib. He was out of commission for most of Sunday, so Liana stayed with my parents through the day. Finally, at 5:30 it was decided that she'd just stay at their house for one more night because of all the charting I had yet to do and because I had already booked my mom to watch her this morning. So, I came home, finished my charting, and we were both in bed nice and early. (For Mike, that means 4ish. For me, 10ish.)

Outside of all of this, we had a bit of a scare on Friday. Twice during the week my debit card had been declined and knowing that there was no reason for that, I called the bank. It wasn't until I logged onto my account that I discovered our debit card information had been stolen and fraudulent purchases were racking up in Tampa, FL. Over $1000 worth, in fact. I called Chase Fraud Services immediately and they were wonderful. My claim was filed within minutes and the next day they posted most of the money back to our account. We had a few more transactions come through later in the day on Friday (after the claim had been filed) and so I called again today. Again, great service by Chase. I'm so glad that they were so helpful and proactive about the situation. We're still not sure how this all happened, but Chase is investigating it and said they'll let us know as soon as they do.

Today was wonderful... I love Mondays! I picked Liana up this morning from my parents and as I walked up the sidewalk to the house, she climbed onto the couch (which is in front of the window) and just started squealing as soon as she saw me. It made my heart melt!! I walked inside to a little girl who had so obviously missed her mama even though I know she had a great time with her Nana and Papa over the weekend. Nothing makes me feel quite so loved as those moments. The rest of the day has been a good day too... after a nap for her and some chores for me, we played in the yard for a long time. While the breeze is cool, the sun is hot and I was so glad that I experienced the feeling of summer one last time. I wish it wasn't the last, but I guess I may as well embrace fall because it's coming whether I like it or not!

Well, Mike just got home from work... time for some family time! Have a good week everyone! :)

A Kadzban-styled update.

So it's been a while since I last posted. I figured it was due time for an update. :)

Well.... little miss Liana is now 17 months and 2 weeks old and oh how I adore that little girl.

She's got some serious spunk to her these days. I swear, the minute she turned 16 months it was like a switch was flipped and she went from being my easy-going, carefree baby to a rambunctious, hard-to-keep up with toddler. No longer does she entertain herself for long.... no, she feels very strongly that that's a job for mommy to do! When she doesn't get her way? Oh goodness, watch out.... the little not even 21lb body of hers goes flailing onto the floor in a fit of rage. Thankfully, her "fits of rage" never last for long (maybe 30 seconds or so?) and she's soon distracted by something else.

I'm learning just how social and outgoing this little girl is too. Shopping trips are my favorite because there's nothing sweeter to this mama's ears that listening to her little girl enthusiastically say "HI!!" to everyone that passes by. Most people kindly respond with a "Hi!" back, but nothing leaves me feeling happier than when people enthusiastically respond to her greetings. When my kid smiles, I smile too! Along the same lines, I struggle when people choose to ignore her kind gestures because I can sense her disappointment. No mama likes to see their child disappointed, but it's been a stark realization for me that a few years down the road, I'm not going to be able to shield each of these disappointments simply by giving to her what others can't or won't.

Oh how I don't look forward to those days.

Speaking of which, school started again this week and I had this moment of pure terror when I realized that in just a matter of a few short years, Liana will be hiking off to her first day of preschool, kindergarten, first grade, etc. I knew all along that kids grow up, but I guess I've just been in a blissful denial that mine never would. However, the past 17 months have flown by and I look at my peanut and catch myself thinking, "How did we get here already? Where did my baby go? And who is this little person standing in front of me?" I just can't believe how quickly it goes and to make matters worse, I keep hearing that time only goes faster as they get older.

So right now, I'm trying to soak up every ounce of toddlerhood I have with her.

And today in particular, I'm soaking up all the snuggles that my pumkin has to give me. For those of you who don't know, Liana is not a snuggler. She never has been. The last time she enjoyed being held was sometime last summer... so probably when she was 4 or 5 months old. My kid seems to firmly believe in the fact that there's "too much to do to be tied down for long". However, today she climbed up on the couch with me and sat next to me for a good 25-35 minutes while we watched some television. I loved it. I breathed it in and I soaked it up. I held her close for as long as I could until she finally decided it was time to get down and continue playing. But guess what? After a little while, she even decided to come back for more.

What a piece of heaven on earth for this mama.

I haven't been very good about taking pictures these past few weeks because things seem to be so busy for us here. (I've been even worse about taking video, which I realized while laying in bed last night.) But, I do have this for you.... we got our "church pics" taken on august 4th. The photographer did great with Liana and each of her pictures came out adorably, but seriously Olan Mills, could you please work on your backdrops?  I mean really.....

 

And where is Mike?

Well, Mike is busy... as usual. He's playing hockey (or trying to, anyways) three mornings a week from 6:00-7am (or something along those lines... I'm enjoying my sleep while he's getting up to go!). Work is demanding as always, but he loves it. For those of you who don't know him well, he works for Meijer as a Merchandise Analyst in the Dairy Department.... the biggest and most profitable dept in the whole company. He takes his job seriously and feels good about the work that he does. While he's coached varsity hockey for EGRHS the past 3 years, coaching will likely be out of the picture for a long while thanks to yours truly (no hate mail, please!). It just became too hard for me having Liana all day, every day, without any kind of relief. Plus, and most importantly, it wasn't fair to Liana to have her daddy gone so much. I really put my foot down after this last hockey season and while we've still been talking about it throughout the summer months, I just can't be okay with him being gone 5 or 6 nights a week anymore. When our kids are older? Sure. I know he loves it deeply and I feel badly asking him to give it up, but right now is not the best time for this type of commitment in our lives. I hope he understands and that someday he feels like it was the right thing to do.

(I'm sure he will because after all, I'm Haley and 99% of the time, I'm right. At least when it comes down to him vs. me. Fact.) ;)


Last but not least.... life is going well for me too. I can't believe how quickly this summer flew by and I find myself resentful of the cooler weather which I usually embrace with open arms. (Only in Michigan can we go from 90 degrees to 68 in just a matter of a week or two!) My decision to leave weekends and job hunt for a position that allowed me to focus more on "family time" took a lot of energy, faith, and time this summer and as a result, I feel like I missed out on May, June, and most of July. By the grace of God though and the help of one of my coworkers, SHH offered me a part time position for 20 hrs per week. I'm highly nervous about going down in hours and pay (because I got incentive pay for working weekends), but my heart (and everyone around me) tells me that we'll be fine and that it'll be well worth it. I hope that's the case.... though I have a peace within me that says it is. They've found someone to replace my weekend position and I'm hopeful that she'll be taking over weekends sometime in mid-October. Trust me, as much as I'll miss these paychecks, I cannot wait to have Saturdays and Sundays with Mike again!