This week is big. Very big.
Wednesday night Mike and I are making the drive to Detroit before stepping foot onto an airplane Thursday morning, with "Destination Jamaica" on our minds.
We've never been on a trip like this before. For our honeymoon, we drove 12 hours and stayed in NYC for a few days bc we couldn't afford a "real" honeymoon. The only other trip we've been on together was with my family in tow, so obviously that wasn't the most romantic of vacations ever. :)
I'm excited to spend 6 days laying in the Jamaican sun, surrounded by many of our closest friends (as the reason for this trip is our friend's destination wedding). I'm excited to sleep soundly at night without worrying if my little pumkin is going to wake me up at 2:30 am. I'm excited to let loose, get tan, and relax after 2 very long weeks of work for both Mike and I. I'm excited to spend a week hanging with my best and talking about all the ridiculous things we usually talk about (like the nature of bunny rabbits..perfectly Easter appropriate, right Mo?!). I'm excited to do things I've never done before and make memories with my husband. I'm excited to be spoiled rotten by resort staff and be waited on hand and foot for 6 whole days. I'm just excited!!
But, there's one thing I'm NOT excited about....
I've never had so much anxiety in my life. Because I'm a control freak, the wills are done and notarized (or will be as of 3pm today). The scariest thought a mother can experience is the thought of losing her child, or her child losing her. That thought has been on my mind for weeks as I've anxiously prepared for this trip. I won't lie... I've been scared to death to go. I've had moments where I told Mike I was staying home bc I can't imagine going a week without seeing her sweet face and kissing those little cheeks. My arms are going to ache while I'm gone because I know I'll miss holding her little 20 lb body in them. I know that at least once, I'll cry myself to sleep at night. And I already plan to steal the blanket she's been sleeping with and take it with me so I have something to hold of her's every night.
I know that I'll have times during the week that are tough and I pray that my friends are patient with me and my emotions during those moments. After all, a big piece of my heart will be thousands of miles away.
The biggest fear is "What If?". What if our plane doesn't make it? Ridiculous, I know but any parent understands this fear. The possibility that Liana could lose both of her parents makes me weak in the knees. But, I try to remind myself that I'm more likely to die in a car accident on my way to work than I am to die in a plane crash. And knowing that things are settled in case something were to happen, well, that gives me peace of mind. With peace of mind comes the ability to relax and enjoy myself.
Thank you, peace of mind. My vacation (and my husband) appreciates you.
So, the next time I update, it'll be with lots of joyful pictures. Pictures of our first "real" vacation together. Pictures of the little face I missed so much. And lots of sappy words in the mix of all those pictures.
Bon Voyage! Wish us luck and pray for safe travels! :)
Wednesday night Mike and I are making the drive to Detroit before stepping foot onto an airplane Thursday morning, with "Destination Jamaica" on our minds.
We've never been on a trip like this before. For our honeymoon, we drove 12 hours and stayed in NYC for a few days bc we couldn't afford a "real" honeymoon. The only other trip we've been on together was with my family in tow, so obviously that wasn't the most romantic of vacations ever. :)
I'm excited to spend 6 days laying in the Jamaican sun, surrounded by many of our closest friends (as the reason for this trip is our friend's destination wedding). I'm excited to sleep soundly at night without worrying if my little pumkin is going to wake me up at 2:30 am. I'm excited to let loose, get tan, and relax after 2 very long weeks of work for both Mike and I. I'm excited to spend a week hanging with my best and talking about all the ridiculous things we usually talk about (like the nature of bunny rabbits..perfectly Easter appropriate, right Mo?!). I'm excited to do things I've never done before and make memories with my husband. I'm excited to be spoiled rotten by resort staff and be waited on hand and foot for 6 whole days. I'm just excited!!
But, there's one thing I'm NOT excited about....
Leaving this beautiful face behind.
I know that I'll have times during the week that are tough and I pray that my friends are patient with me and my emotions during those moments. After all, a big piece of my heart will be thousands of miles away.
The biggest fear is "What If?". What if our plane doesn't make it? Ridiculous, I know but any parent understands this fear. The possibility that Liana could lose both of her parents makes me weak in the knees. But, I try to remind myself that I'm more likely to die in a car accident on my way to work than I am to die in a plane crash. And knowing that things are settled in case something were to happen, well, that gives me peace of mind. With peace of mind comes the ability to relax and enjoy myself.
Thank you, peace of mind. My vacation (and my husband) appreciates you.
So, the next time I update, it'll be with lots of joyful pictures. Pictures of our first "real" vacation together. Pictures of the little face I missed so much. And lots of sappy words in the mix of all those pictures.
Bon Voyage! Wish us luck and pray for safe travels! :)
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