The number FOUR.

Four years ago this morning, at 7:52 am, my daughter will officially have left her "3's" behind and will be welcoming in her "4's".

Tonight when Mike and I tucked her into bed last night and reminded her that when she wakes up she'll be four, she beamed from ear to ear.

"You mean, it'll be my birthday when I wake up?!"

Sure will, sweet girl. Sure will. Birthdays have a whole new level of excitement attached to them now that we're moving into our fifth year of life.

Three has been a tough year on our little girl. Since her third birthday we've experienced more change and heartbreak than some families experience in a lifetime. We sold our home. Moved into a rental. My dad quit his "babysitting gig" of two years and we were forced to find a new daycare, which was an incredibly difficult adjustment for my little girl to make. Her world was rocked when he moved to Rockford after my mom filed for divorce (despite my dad's insistence but unwillingness to do it himself). No longer having Papa across the street or just a few minutes away wasn't easy. Then February rolled around and all hell broke loose. Her mama went missing while trying to care of her Nana which meant many days and many nights apart. She learned that she'd no longer be able to see her Papa, a fact that was impossibly hard and confusing for someone so young to understand.

While Liana grew by leaps and bounds during her three's, she also experienced deep stress and anxiety.

In spite of this, three has also brought a lot of joy to Liana and the rest of our household.

While sassy and defiant at times, she's a wonderful little girl. She teases and picks on her brother like nobody's business, at times borderline harassing and tormenting him, but she loves him deeply too. Her eyes light up and her arms fling outwards for a hug each day she's reunited with him at daycare. And he adores her. She loves to snuggle up close to me and she gives the best hugs and kisses. She's affectionate and loving - always having to say the "proper" goodbye of giving a giant bear hug and a sweet little kiss when we're heading in separate directions for the day.

She's become a master negotiator. She knows just how to get whatever it is that she wants and it's become an art that she's mastered. She can play off of anyone's emotions and even play us against each other in order to get what's desired. Meal times are painful as she is so pokey and so picky about what goes into her mouth. Every night at dinner we have the same "If I eat ___ bites can I be done?" speech. Anytime we go to the store she thinks she's "owed" a toy or a piece of candy... her sense of entitlement is something I'm trying desperately to discourage.

She's making friends left and right at preschool and thriving and flourishing there. Tuesdays are her favorite day because Payton B. is there, whom she is crazy about. Another friend, Luci, waits anxiously for Liana every morning to arrive so that they can color and play together throughout the day. I've been warned by Mrs. Amanda, her teacher, that Liana doesn't always use her "listening ears" when Luci is around because they get so wrapped up in each other that they become lost to the rest of the world around them. Liana shrieks with excitement when she realizes that she gets to go to Preschool the next day (she's currently going on Tuesdays and Thursdays each week) and can hardly wait to go to bed on Monday and Wednesday nights. It brings such happiness to my heart to see her making friends and learning socialization skills in this setting. While the transition into preschool was rough for about 8 weeks, I can now confidently say that this enrollment was the best move we've ever made for our daughter.

She's rational and logical (most of the time) and able to think through different things comprehensively. But she does run short on patience from time to time which usually results in temper flaring and whining.

Liana loves all things girly. Her fingers and toes are almost always painted. Her favorite color has always been purple but now she's added pink into this mix too. She loves braids in her hair which drives me nuts because her hair is incredibly thin and hard to manage. Some days she lives in her "princess dresses", other days she lives in her jammies. She's learned the "art" of dressing herself, which she's quite proud of and is actually very helpful to me. However, I also struggle with this new found independence because when she exercises this freedom, she tends to look a bit mismatched. "But mom, these purple polka dot socks match my orange striped shirt because the white polka dots match the white stripes!" or the "But Mom, this shirt matches these pants because they BOTH have stripes!". She loves to color and play games or sit on my lap and read book after book.

She's become so much more independent in this past year. She often wakes up in the morning, lets me sleep until Lukas wakes up, and helps herself to a morning snack and some television. The other day I asked that she have a "super quiet-quiet time" because my head hurt and I needed to lay down in my bed and relax for a little while while Lukas napped. For two hours, my sweet girl played quietly in the living room while a movie was running and she let me rest in the quiet and solitude of my bedroom.

At four years old, she is now sleeping through the night without wetting the bed. Another milestone met. It took us a while to get there.

She is so sensitive and so shy. I really struggle with this because I was also a shy kid growing up. She often refuses to acknowledge any one, even if its someone she knows or has met before, until hours into a visit with them. If I'm with her (which I always am) during one of these visits, she'll scan the room looking for me, make eye contact, then run to me and bury her face into my legs. Because she's so shy we typically only use the people she's already comfortable with to watch the kids - my mom, my mother in law Deb, my friend/future sister in law Kasey, my sister Brittany or sister in law Rachel, a neighbor girl Cassie or my friends Rachel or Ashley. It may sound like we have a lot of options to choose from at times but the reality is, everyone also has jobs and lives and families of their own too. I often wish I could just take other people up on their offers to watch our kids, especially lately, but I don't for Liana's sake. She struggles enough with this as it is and I don't feel right about throwing even more into her mix.

She loves so fiercely. Each day when I arrive to pick the kids up from daycare, I try and stay quiet so that I can watch her play with her friends for as long as I go unnoticed. Usually, another teacher will see me first and shout out to Liana that I'm here. (I hate it!) The smile that grows across her face as she locks eyes with mine and the way she runs toward me saying "MOMMMMMMY!!!!" usually makes this the best moment of my day. Her arms get thrown around my legs, or my neck, and what follows is another one of those big bear hugs I live for. Her daddy is her knight in shining armor and he knows it. And like I said earlier, she has a love/hate relationship with her brother but with each passing month they celebrate together, I can see her fall in love with him just a little bit more. It might be a slow process but at least it's happening. :)

For her birthday this year, we decided to tone things down a bit more than we usually do. For the first time in her life we didn't invite extended family to her party. We don't have a "theme" but somehow we did manage to come home with some Disney Princess plates because Auntie Brittany insisted our little princess have them. We'll celebrate today just the four of us and then when dinner rolls around we'll share this special day with her three remaining grandparents, four remaining great grandparents, her aunts and uncles and hopefully her almost-cousin.  It's going to be small and it's going to be wonderful.

I'm looking forward to Liana's fours. While I'm sure we'll still experience some hardship this coming year, I'm hopeful that we'll be blessed even more so. She can look back on her life and remember that she moved into her new house when she was four and that she started "4's preschool" when she was four. I'm not sure what other wonderful blessings will come our way this year but whatever they are, we're ready for them.

Happy 4th Birthday, baby girl! You made my life better the moment you were born into this world and I'll be forever grateful to you for it. <3

(And this can't go without saying... as I finished this post it was exactly 7:52 am on March 24th. Perfect.)